Perspective

This morning we had my follow up and things are looking good.  No signs of fluid (my lungs literally shifted in joy when we heard that), my estrogen level is back to normal which means we are transferring embryos in the next couple weeks!  Now that my brain can actually listen to the men in my life, I got the update from the doctor.  We've got loads of healthy little ones, in fact 2 are considered the Hermes of embryos.  So Fancy,  go us!  Although, a trip Hermes could cost the same price as these embryos did.  I do love those orange boxes, but I'll take the babies.

I've been home for 5 days now and it feels like I'm recovering from a loss.  Apparently I was very close to the 3 1/2 liters of fluid that was in my body.   I find myself going thru hilarious mood swings (I can call them hilarious now that they're over and I'm no longer crying).  

Day 1-2 at home: Terrified - How do people expect me to actually fall asleep?  For reals people, how am I supposed to convince my brain that I will wake up in the morning.  I've been told I was drowning and now they expect me to just lay down there without my 4 fabulous nurses checking on me constantly.  These people are just crazy. 

Day 2-3 at home: Happy - Dude, I'm just happy to be alive.  My husband gets to explain the fluid removal procedure to loads of people and it is pretty cool to hear after the fact.   Couple calls to my parents crying out of happiness that I can still say "I love you".  

Day 4 at home: Anger - Massive anger.  Overwhelming anger.  It all hit me at this one moment and it just took over me.  How could this have happened?  How did it go so far?  Dr. Google calmed me down.  That's when I found out I am the .01%.  You know, the "there is a .01% chance that you may have an astronomically horrible reaction to IVF and it will literally try to kill you" thing.  I then remember my doctor telling me that I am pretty much the worst case they have ever had at the clinic.  They have 1-2 patients a year deal with Hyper-Stimulation, but my case just happened to take that extra step.  Again, I'm just an overachiever. 

Day 5 at home: Chill - Doctors apt made me feel safe again, I've been hanging out with friends and enjoying life. I get tired easy so I took a nap and wrapped presents.  

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone.  Thank you for reading and I'm so happy I'm here to write these followups.  Cherish each other everyday.  Life can change in an instant.